Black Rivers
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: He wasn't sure when it started, but one day Kakashi found himself reaching out for Sakura.


He wasn't sure when it started, but one day Kakashi found himself reaching out for Sakura.

She hadn't even noticed since she'd been walking away, and he'd stopped himself before he could reach her. She'd been joking that he'd never get all his paperwork done and had offered to stay with him. He'd shrugged her off like always, but when she turned her back to him he'd wanted to grab her and ask her to stay.

Kakashi had thought about it long after she'd left. He rarely initiated physical contact with anyone but couldn't deny how nice it sounded to feel Sakura's soft skin under the rough pads of his fingertips.

He eventually shook the thoughts and images away, telling himself he'd just gotten lonely in his old age.

After that first day, Kakashi found himself reaching for Sakura more often than he'd like to admit. He felt like a man reaching for the stars. Not only would he never touch them, but if he did they'd probably burn through him and he'd wished he'd never wanted something so foolish.

He could see his feelings for what they were, but did his best to ignore them. It could never happen. She wouldn't feel the same way and there was too much history between them that he just didn't want to taint. His thoughts were all consuming though. His vivid imagination and memorized scenes from Icha Icha came together to create day dreams that held his attention for the better part of his days. It was frustrating to say the least, especially when the object of his torment was scolding him for being distracted.

"Kakashi-sama, you've been spaced out for like thirty minutes!" Sakura huffed in front of his desk as her eyes fell on the blank parchment in front of him. "I _told_ you that letter to the Mizukage needed to be sent out _today_ and you haven't written a _word_!"

Kakashi looked up at her and scratched the back of his head. "Mah, Sakura-chan, I'm merely planning out what to say in my head before I write it all down. Wouldn't want to waste any paper."

Sakura saw right through him, though, like she always did and rolled her eyes. She sighed before rounding the desk to stand beside him. She leaned forward, making her hair fall over her shoulder as she reached for a pen. She started scribbling notes on the paper and explaining _again_ what he's supposed to be writing, but Kakashi didn't hear a word of it. The sound of her voice was like a peaceful hum in the background of his thoughts.

Instead his attention was focused on the way the fabric of her clothes moved as she reached up to throw her hair back over her shoulder, revealing the smooth tanned skin of her neck. The sun was setting behind them and the light shining through the window landed on her perfectly, highlighting her cheekbones and making her eyes look more vibrant than normal. He could smell the flowery scent from her shampoo as she absentmindedly fixed her hair over her shoulder again and again as it continued to obey the laws of gravity. Pale scars were sprinkled up and down her arms, showcasing all the battles she lived through. He could see the smoothness of her muscles and how they flexed as she wrote.

"Are you even listening to me?" Her eyes meeting his and the tone of her voice dragged him out of his reverie.

Kakashi nodded, giving her one of his crinkly eyed smiles. "Every word."

She raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything and only gestured for him to do as he was told. Kakashi reached across the desk for another piece of parchment and accidently knocked over an inkwell. Black ink poured across the desk, drowning important documents and the like as it flowed towards him.

Before he could even react, Sakura had pushed his chair back and was trying to mop up the mess with tissues. Kakashi watched as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, the ink on her fingers dying the pink black. He held back a laugh. "Sakura-chan –"

"You are so scatterbrained lately!" Sakura grumbled as she threw paperwork to the side in hopes of saving it from the black river. When she got most of it under control she turned towards him and her eyes widened before grabbing his arm. "You got it on your robes!"

Kakashi followed her eyes to see a small black spot on the inside of his sleeve where Sakura was holding him. He replied lazily, "Mah, would you look at that."

Sakura glared at him and started blabbering on about how his Hokage robes showed people his success and other things that he didn't hold much in like she did. Before she could get too far, he interrupted her in amusement. "I'm surprised you feel so strongly, considering you're just getting more ink on them from your hands."

She jerked her hand away from him to reveal a black hand print on his white robes. She gasped and flipped her hand over to see the ink that had coated her skin without her noticing. "Kakashi, I'm _so_ sorry! We'll get a hold of the tailor and I'm sure he can – "

She stopped when she realized he was laughing at her and huffed, though he could see the beginning of a smile. "Kakashi, this is serious!"

He shook his head at her, feeling a warmth wash over his as she started laughing with him. "It's really not. I hated those damn robes anyway. They're too heavy."

Sakura shook her head back at him with an exasperated smile and looked around at the mess. Then, Kakashi noticed she'd somehow managed to get a smudge of ink on her nose. He automatically reached out to wipe it off but stopped when her eyes landed on him in surprise. He pulled his hand away as he watched her blush. "You…got ink on your nose."

Her cheeks reddened, and she instantly wiped at her nose, forgetting that her hand wasn't exactly clean. Kakashi chuckled and stood up, gently grabbing her wrist to get her to stop then letting her go. "Sakura-chan, go home and take a shower before you cover yourself in ink from head to toe. I can clean this up myself."

Sakura didn't meet his eyes as she stepped towards the door. But she did point a finger at him before leaving. "Don't get any more ink on your robes. I _will_ have the tailor clean them and I _still_ expect that letter to be sent out today. No slacking while I'm gone."

Kakashi smiled at her in a way that always made her grin back with a fond exasperation. "Yes, Sakura-sama."

She laughed and warned, "Don't let anyone hear you calling me that. I'll never hear the end of it."

Then, she was gone and all Kakashi was left with was a faint memory of how small her wrists were and a handprint on his robes.

"Did you hear? He's taking Sakura-san to dinner tonight." Kakashi heard a woman in the hall giggle to her friend as they walked by the doors to his office.

Kakashi could feel his mood dampening as his ears picked up their conversation. "Really? Well, isn't she lucky. You could tell how smitten he was with her at the meeting yesterday."

"I do have to wonder though if…" Then, their voices died out as they continued walking.

Kakashi sighed and leaned back in his chair. He knew who they were talking about. The smooth-talking diplomat from the Sand, _Mito_. He'd noticed his interest in Sakura, but hadn't realized other people had as well. Kakashi had tried to ignore it as best as he could. He'd been in a professional setting and certainly didn't want any _jealousy_ getting in the way of the Leaf's alliance with the Sand. He was sure some had probably shown through anyways. He only hoped everyone was too distracted by Mito and his _war stories_ to notice.

Sakura walked in a few minutes later, carrying wonderful gifts for Kakashi. He propped his elbow up on the desk and rested his chin in his hand as he stared disheartened at the stack of paperwork in her arms. He must have looked more worn out than usual because Sakura laughed lightly as she set the folders down on his desk. "Don't worry, Kakashi-sama. I'll stay with you to help finish all of it."

Kakashi checked the clock next to him, realizing it was already a little later than when Sakura usually left. He looked at Sakura, trying to hide his confusion and told her, "Mah, that's alright, Sakura-chan. Go enjoy your night."

Sakura frowned at him and looked to the clock as well, though she didn't show any surprise at the time. There was something in her eyes when they returned to him, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. She asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to stay? For any reason?"

Kakashi couldn't hide his confusion then and stared back at her. _For any reason?_ There was a heavy pause in the office before he answered, "No, it's fine. I can handle the rest of this myself. Thank you, Sakura."

There was a slight hesitation before she gave him a tight smile and walked out the doors, telling him a polite, "Okay. Goodnight, Kakashi-sama."

Kakashi stared at the closed doors and then at the stack of papers. He felt strange like Sakura had just given him a test and he'd failed it.

When Kakashi came back to consciousness, he heard a familiar voice yelling, "Where were his ANBU guards!? What's the status on the assassin's whereabouts!? Why wasn't anyone _here_!?"

Kakashi felt something thick in his throat and he coughed as he opened his eyes to the bleary scene above him. His voice felt both wet and dry when he tried to tell her, "Mah, S-Sakura-chan. Stop yelling, you're…giving me a headache."

His vision cleared as her face swiveled back to him. She looked angrier than he'd seen her in a long time, but more important than that, she looked _scared_. Kakashi was about to ask her what was wrong, when he felt a sudden and intense pain in his side and then remembered.

Sakura's hands pressed harder into the stab wound as a couple tears escaped her eyes. "Kakashi!"

Kakashi tried to give her a smile back, but he wasn't even sure if she could tell. There were other people around them, he counted three. But he didn't care about anyone besides the woman kneeling over him, her hands probably stained red from his blood. Kakashi asked her weakly, though it hurt to breathe, "Aren't you supposed to be on a date right now?"

"What? No," she answered him distractedly as she instructed a medic nin next to her. Apparently, he needed to be transported to the hospital since " _I can't do a damn surgery out in the middle of the training fields_."

The medic nin ran off, to do what Kakashi didn't know, and Sakura kept her hot chakra searing into his wound to close it as best as she could. He remembered the attack and if his mind hadn't been elsewhere, he could've easily avoided it, but he hadn't, and he was sure it was deep because it had been a _very_ long blade.

Something Sakura had been demanding earlier floated through his mind and before she rang any ANBU necks, he thought he should tell her, "I shrugged them off."

Sakura's attention returned back to him with confusion and he clarified, "The ANBU. I don't like to be followed."

He watched as her jaw clenched, and she spat at him in a low voice, " _Idiot_."

Kakashi's eyelids felt heavy and he fought losing consciousness again. He knew Sakura's voice would probably be enough motivation to keep himself awake, so he asked her, "Where'd you leave Mito? Or is here?"

"I wasn't with _Mito_." Sakura looked at him exasperated. Her voice hadn't lost any of its anger from earlier. "I was at _Ino's_ when I got summoned because _your_ dumbass had to get attacked _in the middle of the damn training fields_."

Kakashi sighed and her face shifted to worry. She moved a hand away to quickly slap him lightly on the face. " _Hey_! Stay with me, Kakashi. Don't you dare fall asleep on me."

Kakashi gave her a small nod and instantly regretted it when the pain in his head increased from the tiny movement. He told her, if only to distract himself from the pain, "I thought you were having dinner with Mito."

Sakura looked at him incredulously and her voice was thick as she spoke, "You are literally _dying_ under my fingertips and the only feeling you're experiencing is _jealousy_? Are you _kidding_ me?" Her voice cracked at the end and the pain he felt when he saw more tears pour down her face had nothing to do with a stab wound.

He chuckled and replied softly, "I have a lot more feelings than that, Sakura-chan."

Sakura tore her eyes away from his face and glared down at his wound. He weakly reached a hand up to cup her cheek, feeling a sweet satisfaction when she leaned into his touch and looked back at him. It felt bittersweet and he knew she could see the smile through his mask then. All of her anger had faded by then and she scolded him in a quiet voice, "Save you strength, Kakashi. You shouldn't be moving, least of all to comfort me."

"I'd give up forever to touch you," he told her gently, letting his hand fall to her thigh when his strength gave out.

Sakura choked back a sob and Kakashi was about to assure he couldn't be that bad when her medic nin returned. He handed Sakura the syringe she had apparently sent him for and disappeared again. Sakura slipped the needle into Kakashi's skin and leaned over his face. She kissed his forehead before whispering, "You don't have to give up anything."

Then, everything went black.

"You didn't hide this very well," were the first words he heard when he woke up.

Kakashi turned his head to the person emitting warmth at his side, comforted to find Sakura sitting there with her back against the wall. She had his Hokage robes bundled up in her lap, her fingers tracing ink spots and black lines.

Kakashi swallowed thickly, his throat feeling very dry and like she could read his mind, Sakura handed him the glass of water from his bedside table. After taking a sip, he gave it back to her and said, "Some things are best hidden in plain sight."

She finally looked at him, giving him a soft smile and a raised eyebrow. "Like in the top drawer of your desk?"

Kakashi sighed, leaning closer to her while he could get away with it. "I didn't think you'd look there. Too easy."

Sakura rolled her eyes and said quietly, "I know you better than you think."

Kakashi smiled as he met her eyes, feeling relaxed. "Mah, is that so?"

She simply hummed in reply, turning back to his robes and they sat in a comfortable silence. Kakashi tried to pinpoint any nearby ANBU, finding none in the room and only two outside and one in the hallway. They must've figured Sakura was perfectly capable of watching over him, which was not an overestimation in the slightest.

Eventually, she broke the silence and told him, "I had never said yes to Mito, you idiot."

That probably made him feel a lot better than she knew, but he still joked with her, "Was that last part really necessary?"

She looked at him with a frown and answered without hesitation, "Yes, because you would _know_ that if you weren't so _oblivious_ and put all your faith in _gossip_."

"Mah, don't give me such a hard time. I'm not up to full par yet."

Sakura's frown deepened and Kakashi realized that was probably not the best time to remind her that. Before he could say anything, she set his robes aside and scooted down to lay next to him, facing him. Then, she reached down between them and interlocked her fingers with his. Kakashi squeezed her hand as he looked into her eyes. He'd never felt such intimacy from something so innocent before.

He had to make sure, though, before he started assuming things. "Did you mean what you said before? Or were those just words to comfort a dying man?"

"I wouldn't have let you die, Kakashi," she replied gently but with a stubbornness that he just had to believe. It was all the answer he needed, and he tugged her closer to him.

He watched her eyes widened the slightest fraction when he reached up to pull his mask down and he couldn't help but do it slowly just to tease her. She was as impatient as always though, and only waited until his lips were barely free before she leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss. He chuckled against her lips and admitted, "I always liked it better when it was _just_ Kakashi."


End file.
